In short, about North Carolina, although I plan to write in greater detail about my experience there: Dr. Berger was awesome. He was inquisitive, he listened and for the first time in a while I felt like I found a Doctor Who was a little bit interested in my Whole Health, not just in making me fertile again (which was something I had feared, traveling cross continent to a Tubal Reversal Center). He made no promises but offered to do a more thorough exam than customary for their routine reversals, looking for the causes of some of my symptoms. While for the most part he found nothing he could pinpoint as direct issue when he did the reversal, the surgery went well and the resectioning was successful.
I am afraid to say it out loud, and I will admit I am still on ibuprofen and hydrocodone fairly steadily, but the burning pain in my lower left abdomen is either swallowed by the incision pain or (Lord God Let It Be) it is better. I mean, pre-op, this pain was constant and overriding in spite of heavier doses of painkillers. What if, somehow, blood flow to that side had gotten really tweaked and maybe, just maybe surgery helped? Have you ever slept with your ear bent against your head in a way it's not supposed to go for a long time and when you wake up, it Really Hurts as circulation tries to reinitiate. What if that was kinda the same thing, only it was part of my ovary that I slept on funny and it's finally getting the blood supply it's sposed to. I don't know. Maybe? BTW, I hope that ear thing isn't just me. But it hurts like a son of a gun.
I have had a pretty crappy attitude since I got home. I know feeling bloated and swollen and looking and waking pregnant doesn't usually perk women up, but I guess I should be trying harder to let the hope and the Slightest Tinge of a Feeling that things are getting back to good creep in and at least make me nice to people. I wasn't really expecting balloons and flowers when I got home but as I lay trapped on my back in bed the first morning home (try getting upright without using an muscles) I felt slightly abandoned. I made it out of bed, through a painful and wobbly shower, under Aspen's supervision, and somehow ended up on the couch, but most of the rest of Friday was a dopey blur. I knew Josh was going to work, but somehow the fact that he just left me, with my medicine worn off and no cream in the house for coffee, really sent me into a tilta-whirl pity party and I probably wasn't The Nicest Wife Ever when he came home. It wasn't like I got my tonsils out and deserved stuffed bunnies and Get Well Soon cards with pictures of severely dated daisies on them, but I guess I was spoiled by mom and thought somebody aught to at least get my breakfast for me.
My sister did make me a get well present. Which I'm sure is in the mail. I'm pretty excited about it. It's a jean skirt made out of some of my old Liv jeans that were torn to shreds. But you know Em, she's a genius with a sewing machine.
I will say this, before I forget: North Carolina was beautiful. I really like Cheerwine, and in spite of my bad attitude, I do think that good is right there. Just around the corner.
Also, as an addendum, and to clear up any consternation, curiosity or budding rays of hope, Josh is fixed, so there will be no baby Westons in our future, barring a cruel trick by a mean God who seems to have it out for me sometimes anyway. ;)
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